Potty Training Woes

When I potty trained Kate, I purchased and downloaded a book off of the internet called "Potty Training Made Easy, Fast, & Simple". I read it and it sounded very down to earth and very doable. The main idea is to get them used to the potty through a pre-potty training period and then on their 2nd birthday, make a big deal about how they are all grown up now and graduating from diapers. They get to open new underwear as a present and you stick them in it right away. So you go cold turkey with the diapers except during naps and at night. You give them plenty to drink and set a timer every 20-25 minutes. When it goes off, everyone in the house chants, "It's potty time!" in an overly excited tone and run the kid to the toilet and read a story or whatever it takes to keep them on it for 2-5 minutes. The idea is that you're bound to get a pee in the toilet at some point and then make such a big deal when it happens, the kid will see how excited everyone is and want to do it again and again until they are peeing every time in the toilet and not in their underwear. Sounds great in theory. And it would probably work with almost any normal child in the world, but for some reason...my kids ain't normal.

Kate was over 3 when we started with her because we moved from Utah to Idaho and then added Andrew to the family. So things had to wait for her so there wasn't any major regressing. Well, anyone who knows Kate knows that she is....well....a tad headstrong....yeah, just a tad. So it wasn't that she wasn't understanding what we wanted her to do, it was her little control freak self not wanting to do what we wanted her too. She was understanding very well what was expected by half way through the first day of training, she would go in the potty often, but just wanted to remind us who was really in control and would purposely have an accident here or there just to prove she could still choose to do whatever she wanted. Going #2 was another story entirely. She didn't get that one for another 3 weeks (once again, the control thing). We tried everything! But she would fight us every time we asked her to use the bathroom. Possitive reinforcement didn't work. "You'll get a treat if you use the potty..." She'd reply, "I don't want a treat" and that was that. We tried threatening, spanking, everything. Finally a lady in my ward, bless her heart, had an idea that would make her control freakishness work in our favor. She told us, "If she doesn't want to earn her treat, then you eat it in front of her." Sounds cruel and unusual, but it worked. Kate couldn't stand watching someone else eat a treat that was supposed to be hers! So after a nightmarish first week, (besides the #2 thing, as previously mentioned) she started to cooperate almost 100%. Whew. Because of this ordeal, I have been dreading potty training Andrew from the second we started on Kate.

Now Andrew doesn't have the same stubborn streak as Kate. Yes, he knows how to work it with the word "no," but extreme stubborn moments are few and far between. I had high hopes that Andrew would be (had to be) eaisier. Blah, blah, blah. I knew we were headed for some trouble when the first time that timer when off and we excitedly sang "It's potty time!", he immediately burrowed his brow and said, "no!" With normal kids, this gets them excited. He didn't even know what potty time was at that point. Perhaps he was just bugged by how stupid we all looked chanting it all together overenthusiastically. Whatever it was, it just got worse throughout the day. After a day and a half of taking him to the potty every 20 minutes, after having to chase after him running way every time the bell rang, we had caught only one pee in the toilet and that was early the first day. We made a big deal out of it but he didn't seem to connect it. I could tell that Andrew wasn't not going on the toilet out of spite. I seriously think that he just didn't "get" what we wanted him to do. It's his "whatever goes" kind of attitude. Through all of this I was (and still am) fighting a terrible head cold and felt miserable, but I figured if we didn't do it now, we'd just keep putting it off. Anyone who knows me, knows what a perfectionist I am and that getting an A- in school was like failing because it wasn't a straight A. So the idea of quitting has been a hard one to swallow. Now, quitting is kind of a harsh word for it...so I'll just say we are postponing it until he becomes a little more mentally aware of what is going on around him. I thought I'd never be the parent who would say, "he's just not ready" about my kid on this subject. According to the book, he is overdue and should be able to be potty trained. But seriously, I don't care if this lady has worked in daycare and potty trained like 300 kids...they weren't my kids. And what is the point of going through weeks of misery and frustration if perhaps it will just take a few more months of developmental grown on Andrew's part before he will just "get" it and take off with it. That's my hope anyway.

I know, I know, you say, "That was only a day and a half....really Krishele?" But this was a day and a half of complete emmersion in all things potty. Every minute was centered around getting him to pee on the toilet...and not to mention the energy it takes to not get mad about changing wet briefs and puddles on the floor every 5-10 minutes and then be all happy and enthusiastic about the "It's potty time" bell going off just to have to chase him down and drag him kicking and screaming to the toilet. Plus, how tired my hiney was of sitting on the side of the tub next to the toilet reading book after book. Wow, it brings back a bit of anxiety just thinking about it. I think I paid my potty training dues and the kid just wasn't on board. What can you do? Give it some time, I guess. Only time will tell. Until then, I will try my best not to be too bitter every time I have to go to the store to buy a big ol' box of diapers.

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